We seriously don’t wake up wanting to stress and worry and overall exhaust ourselves with everything around and inside of us.” - Kristy H. “Just calm down.” “ ‘Just calm down.’ This is seriously one of the most detrimental things you can say to someone with anxiety. “ ‘You’re not the only one who has bad days.’” - Will J. “‘Oh, I get anxious all the time,’ but talk about something that made them temporarily nervous.” - Kaitlyn T. I’m stressed, too.’ I’m not stressed, I’m anxious and feeling extreme dread over everything and nothing. Turning it into being about everyone else doesn’t help and just makes me feel like I am not valid.” - Lexie B. I have opened up to you because I want to talk about me. “Everybody feels stressed sometimes.” “‘Everybody feels like that.’ Sounds innocent enough, but if I am disclosing how I am feeling to you then the last thing I want is you trying to shift the focus to ‘everyone’ else. “‘ Give it to God, then you can stop worrying about it.’” - MaryJane G. I know they thought they were being helpful, but it wasn’t in the slightest.” - Jessica A.
Put a bad taste in my mouth when it came to religion, and definitely didn’t make the anxiety any better. “I was often told I didn’t have enough faith, implying my anxiety was my fault and a punishment. “Have you been praying enough?” “‘ God will make it better.’ ‘Just pray…’ I probably have 100 more, but these are the ones I hear the most during a down period.” - Dezei R.
“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” “‘You’re making a mountain out of a molehill…’ People used to tell me this all the time, especially in school when I reported bullying.” - Taylor S. “ ‘You need to be strong so you don’t keep taking those medicines.’” - Rita T. “You shouldn’t rely on medication.” “’You shouldn’t rely on medication. “ ‘Other people have it worst than you.’ Just because I can do certain things and function a bit more than others with anxiety doesn’t mean I’m not struggling.” - Kayla D. We should remember we all have the right to feel how we feel.” - Albane L. It could be worse.’ This was said by an old ‘friend’ to whom I was saying I was struggling with depression after my father’s death few month before… I had the right to feel bad. “Other people have it worse than you do.” “ ‘You’re lucky in comparison to others. Here’s what our community shared with us: 1. It’s important to remember what may seem “harmless” to one person may actually be hurtful to another. No matter what anyone says, your feelings are valid, and you deserve support. We wanted to know what “harmless” comments people with anxiety have heard that actually hurt them, so we asked our mental health community to share one with us and explain what it feels like to hear it. they may just be looking for someone to listen and be there. When someone with anxiety opens up about their struggles, oftentimes they aren’t looking for your “solution,” “advice,” opinions, DIY anxiety healing guide, etc. And even though these “harmless” comments may come from a good place, they can often invalidate the struggles of someone living with anxiety.
( Becky used to get panic attacks, and once she started exercising again, her anxiety totally went away.) Most often, they come from a place of misunderstanding mental health struggles. ( Have you tried meditating?) Sometimes they come with a “solution” via personal anecdote. Sometimes these “harmless” comments come in the form of a question. If you live with anxiety, you might be familiar with some of the seemingly “harmless” but incredibly hurtful things people often say to those struggling with it.
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